Treadmill Trancing

So, I suspected it would happen, but it was took a long time in coming!

I’ve been regularly running since July – just after I took my RN boards. It’s been really nice to have the time to get back into shape and running is something that I’ve always enjoyed. However, owing to a bout of plantar fasciitis, I took my running indoors and have been using a treadmill. Treadmills are far more forgiving on the feet than asphalt and I figure this will help protect me from another injury, as will a sensible stretching routine and good orthotics.

I, personally, have always hated treadmills. I much prefer running outdoors and without headphones. Back in the days of runners wearing 3″ inseam shorts I used to take personal pride in chasing someone down if they were wearing headphones. For me, I liked to stay focused, intense and, to be honest, be distracted by the changing scenery of running out doors.

In college I had a friend, Nervous Rex we used to call him, who could easily put ten miles on a treadmill. I don’t know how he did it but I was secretly envious that he could somehow tune out and just run or that he had so much willpower. I didn’t, and probably still don’t, understand what it took to run in place for ten miles but certainly I was curious what was in store for me as I embarked upon my treadmill training.

At first, being old and fat, the running wasn’t that bad – half a mile, a mile – that’s only a few minutes. Hit the bike after and I was done. As my mileage progressed, (bear in mind I’m running three miles on the treadmill currently and immediately riding a half-hour on the bike – heart rate around 140-170 the entire time, usually spending about 50 minutes on my workout, for those interested) I found I really had to play head games to break the mile and a half barrier. I was getting bored, focusing on my effort and really just hating my run.

Then I started reading a few ultra running blogs (races of 50-100 miles in length, hey, a man can dream, right?) and this one dude wrote about using his iPod set to trance music to slow his running down so he could just keep churning out the miles for hours (something like 24 hours at a pop, for him). So I plugged in my iPod and kept at it. I still was playing massive head games – not letting myself look down at the mileage indicator on the treadmill, counting out songs to before I was allowed to guess how far I had run. It was, I admit, a little mentally exhausting.

At some point I started just trying to stare ahead at my reflection (the machines I run on face a mirror, stair-steppers behind me) and watch the Rorscharch Sweat Blots on my chest slowly grow. I couldn’t look down at the mileage until it was quarter-sized. I started making patterns out of the shapes – is that a old Zen monk carrying a staff looking down at a cat (random Zen Cat link) ? Now is it something else?

It seemed to work. I’m running three miles now and it seems pretty easy. I’m probably due to hit three and a half this week. Anyway, awhile ago I figured all this staring, listening to trance and repetitive motion would likely lead to some trippy experiences. It hadn’t until today. I don’t know. Maybe up till now I was too deep into the pain.

But, today Insite, a song by MIDIval PunditZ started playing and everything in my head kinda changed. Suddenly my steps were completely in sync with the music, I felt like I was dancing, even the swaying of the cords connecting me to the iPod and the treadmill bounced along in time to the music. The folks stepping behind me suddenly looked like background dancers. I had to stop myself from laughing. The feeling was so surreal. I was dancing – felt like I was sliding forward and not really running at all. My shoulders felt like they were shaking side-to-side as if I were dancing rather than running. The impression was so odd and so compelling. Suddenly it was, for a few minutes anyway, like I wasn’t running at but just jamming to this amazing tune; very odd and amusing.

So, while I’m running, a short while after this entertaining moment, I start getting all saddled up on my philosophical horse (it’s high, I need a step-ladder) and start thinking how this running in place I’m doing is just like living life. I’m not going anywhere. It ends the same, I’m going to hop off the treadmill and it’s going to be over, nothing much is really going to be accomplished. Just like life. You get born, you do some stuff, you die. Not much is different, really.

But it seems to me, also, that this perspective is missing the important part. The important part while running on this treadmill is what’s going on inside my head. The experiences I’m having, the way I’m interpreting and trying to understand the world around me. The change is centered in me, the only place it really can be.

This too, seems like real life, at least to me just now. Life is short, difficult, often painful and the only thing I can take with me to my deathbed (with any luck) is what’s rolling around in the hat holder perched on my shoulders.

In any case, it was a great song by a great band. Gonna hit the gym tomorrow too.