KillerGoldFish

Lately I’ve been thinking (and have posted about it – if you’re that darn curious you can go try to find the posts yourself) that blogging in the manner I have is starting lose its luster.

I’m not sure anyone needs another person to rant on about their thoughts and feelings randomly throughout the day. When I think about it – the reading I do online is exactly not that.

One of my sisters got me to thinking about why I blog and what I’m looking for. It helped me see why this certain type of blogging has lost its luster (partly, anyway).

I like discussion because it helps me clarify my thinking on things. I don’t learn much by talking though, except perhaps when I catch myself in error. I prefer to hear the arguments put out there by others and I enjoy considering them and mixing them around with my own ideas.

Blogging started, for me, at a time when my closest friends were not available for spirited discussions and I didn’t have an outlet for the crazy, mixed-up ideas I was having. Blogging at least provided me with half of what I was looking for – a place to say what was on my mind and occasionally, if I was lucky, someone who disagreed with me.

I am now, however, in a position where I have my ‘hands in the dirt’ of philosophical questions – I’m working as a nurse and nearly every day I’m confronted with ethical challenges and my fiancee, despite her best attempts, tends toward the philosophical as well. Or at least she disagrees with me frequently which gives me a lot to think about.

So, as you can see, my need to randomly spew my thoughts on the ‘net is greatly lessened.

Another change that I’ve noticed is my weariness with discussing unanswerable questions – at least hypotheticals dealing with god, good and evil, the afterlife, all those kinds of things. I don’t know if its age, that I finally realized the horse is already dead or what, but I just don’t care enough anymore to get worked up about the questions.

Am I more interested in writing experientially? I suppose (witness my previous post) but even here, I’m not sure that the world needs yet another blog about these types of things.

Well, I’ve decided to open a website that I had a long time ago – KillerGoldFish.Com and develop it into a site that’s useful to me. I’ll host some photos there, I’ll post bits of things that I find important to me so that I can reread them or share them with my friends and cut back on the personal commentary.

I’ll keep this blog alive for awhile, I suppose, we’ll see what happens. But really, I’m interested in writing about the books I am reading, my experiences with Zen Buddhism and with nursing.

I’m not sure those topics are all that important, but I know my half-arsed ramblings are definitely not. =)