The Self

The word “self” refers to what we experience on the inside – our personal identity, our sense of being in a body, our ability to act for ourselves, and our personal story. We use the word “person” to refer to what we see from the outside, the solid, three-dimensional object that moves and acts like a human being. I think of the self as a function of the person, something like the beating of the heart or the circulation of the blood. The self function is active and would be better expressed as a verb than a noun. Expressing it as a noun misleads us into believing it is a thing; often we come to identify the self with our body, the most solid thing about us. And yet when you think about it even a little, you know the self is a function you need in order to be a person, but it is not the same thing as being a person.

-The Self-Esteem Trap, Polly Young-Eisendrath

NaNoReMo

So, I have been pondering over the last few days.  I’ve been putting together my plot and characters for National Novel Writing Month – getting ready to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

Then I remembered how I posted on the topic of “all that writing, no one reading” that seems symptomatic of America’s (the world’s?) self-involvement.

Continuing with this thought, I imagined NaNoReMo – National Novel Reading Month – a time when you spend the month trying to read 50,000 words…or just an entire novel or whatever.

So, that’s what I’m going to do, I’m working to work very hard to focus on some serious reading this month – perhaps finish the books on my bed-stand.

I’m currently reading Food Politics, God’s Problem and The Self-Esteem Trap.  Excellent books all.  Let’s see what November 30th brings.

What are you reading?

PS:  If you google for NaNoReMo, you’ll discover (as I did) that I’m not the only one with this great idea.  It’s a good thing I decided NOT to write something after all.  =)

NaNoWriMo

That’s right, it’s that time again.

November is National Novel Wriiting Month, a time in which bizarre folks from all over attempt to pen a 50,000 word story in thirty days.  It’s a lot like the burning man festival without the fire, drugs, sex and alcohol.  Then again, I don’t know what your writing group looks like, but around here there’s lemon tea, quiet music and a lot of tired, frustrated expressions.

It’s a chance to fail spectacularly or to surprise yourself.  Give it a shot.

NaNoWriMo Website

Habits

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle

A Poem for My Father’s Ghost

Now is my father
A traveler, like all the bold men
He talked of, endlessly
And with boundless admiration,
Over the supper table,
Or gazing up from his white pillow-
Book on his lap always, until
Even that grew too heavy to hold.

Now is my father free of all binding fevers.
Now is my father
Traveling where there is no road.

Finally, he could not lift a hand
To cover his eyes.
Now he climbs to the eye of the river,
He strides through the Dakotas,
He disappears into the mountains.
And though he looks
Cold and hungry as any man
At the end of a questing season,

He is one of them now:
He cannot be stopped.

Now is my father
Walking the wind,
Sniffing the deep Pacific
That begins at the end of the world.

Vanished from us utterly,
Now is my father circling the deepest forest-
Then turning in to the last red campfire burning
In the final hills,

Where chieftains, warriors and heroes
Rise and make him welcome,
Recognizing, under the shambles of his body,
A brother who has walked his thousand miles.

-Mary Oliver

Thanks, Laura, for sharing.

DNR, DNI & DNV

Not Me

Do not resuscitate.

Do not intubate.

Do not ventilate.

I’ve been working as a nurse now for four months or so, not a very long time.  I have, though, been in the healthcare field (as a student) for an additional three years and during that time have worked very closely with nurses.

Nurses talk a lot and they talk openly about a lot of things.  We talk a lot about patients and families that we wish would just let go and others that we hope “make it.”  We talk about pain control, the lack of it and many, many other issues.

You can’t work on a unit in a hospital as a nurse without getting to know quite a lot about your peers.  You are tied to your nursing team – you work very hard, in very difficult circumstances and the bonds you share are the same I’ve experienced with long term running partners or people who have gone through very difficult times together.  Nurses that work together really get to know one another.

We talk a lot about end of life care, too.  A lot of our patients come in extremely sick.  Many of them are going to die and sooner than they would like.  We always ask about DNR status – do you want CPR if you have a heart attack?  Do you want to have a tube put down your throat if you need it to keep breathing (DNI status), do you want to be put on a ventilator or “bagged” if you need oxygen (DNV status)?

Lots of folks (by which I mean most) have never thought of these things, never fill out their living wills, never get a healthcare proxy and often decide to “have everything done.”  At least for a time.  Until, it seems, they have suffered enough – until it is plainly obvious to the casual observer that there is nothing left.  And sometimes families go far beyond that – as far as doctors and modern science will allow.

Anyway, with all talking we nurses do about these issues – I’ve never, ever heard a nurse say they would want “everything done” for themselves.  Most prefer to be DNR, DNI, DNV.   Many don’t want the tube-feedings, TPN and the other treatments that come with seriously declining health.

I don’t know.  If I want advice on plumbing, I go to a plumber.  If I want advice on my truck, I go to my mechanic.  I think it might be a good idea for people to take a look at what nurses have to say about end of life care well before they find themselves in a crisis and trying to make last minute decisions.

GYWO

Get Your War On is a comic that I discovered a couple of years ago – and I just love it.  I find it sarcastic, witty, irreverent and I enjoy the unrestrained use of four-letter words.   You should check it out.

Clicky:
The first comic in the series

The current comic

The dude’s off-topic webpage

Why I love Campell Brown

Later, of course, the McCain campaign tried to punish CNN for this interview by canceling an appearance on Larry King.  Next time, Spokesperson Dude, just answer the question.  Unless you can’t, of course.

Spore – My Review

A Moabite

…is probably a lot like many others, but still mandatory, isn’t it?

I’ve been waiting for this game forever.  Spore, in case you don’t know, was supposed to be a paradigm-shifting game, one that would change the concept of gaming in the same way that World of Warcraft has.

Before World of Warcraft the idea of many people logging on and playing together in a shared experience was pretty much left to the dark places on campuses where geeks and nerds hung out  playing text-based games of their local VAX system (I was/am one of them and still occasionally play Armageddon).  The day World of Warcraft hit the planet, everything changed and any game company is almost forced to create a massively multi-player game if they are going to be successful.  World of Warcraft changed everything.

The big deal about Spore was that it was to include game play that would have the player direct the evolution of a creature, then a species all the way from one-celled creatures to entire space-faring civilizations.  No game, as of yet, has ever tried this.  Additionally, content that you created in your game as you evolved your species would be available to other people when they logged into their game.  For example, within a few weeks of Spore’s release to the public, there were more fantasy species existing in the Spore universe then there were real species on Earth.  And the player has the opportunity to interact with many of these creatures.  The idea was to become a self-evolving universe (with DMR and all that, from what I hear).

Sounds exciting, right?  Well, if not to you, trust me – it’s a big deal in gaming concepts.

Except one thing.

The game blows.  I mean it’s terrible.  I waited years to play this game.  I preordered months in advance.  I installed the game the first chance I got and within four hours prayed I would like it.  The next day, I put two more hours in and then didn’t start it up again except to show my GF the cute little creatures you can make in their creature editor.

Here’s my review for anyone who cares (published on the Directo2Drive website):

Garbage

I bought this game several months ago – waiting for it for years – probably like a lot of folks. I played it for 3 hours praying I would like it. The next day, I played for 2 hours praying that the day before I was just not “getting it.” Fact is, this game is terrible. It’s great, as others have said, as a toy, but it’s not a game. If you like Second Life and other “things” of that ilk, you’ll love it. Unfortunately for me, I expected “Civilization” with micro-evolution/game play. I put in 5 hours and now it sits, along with the worthless gameplay book on a shelf somewhere. Save your money.

Rating
10	Presentation
	Looked great out of the box. Graphics are nice. Editors are cool.
10	Graphics
	I liked the graphics a lot. It’s pretty. So is Iron Pyrite.
2	Sound
	Loaded it up – no sound. Had to reboot. Got sound, but no sound on machine. Had to reboot again and that fixed everything. Combat sounds in tribal were annoying. Turned it down.
0	Gameplay
	There is no gameplay.
0	Lasting Appeal
	I played it for 5 hours (suffering through it) and then tossed it aside. Worthless. Should have saved my $$ for beer.
2	OVERALL

Idiot’s Guide to Motorcycles

If you buy a motorcycle, please do two things prior to closing that purchase:

1. Buy a helmet
2. Take a class

Additionally, you may wish to purchase a box of common sense.  Extra-large, if you can find it.